Demi Lovato: I Was Raped the Night of My Overdose
Demi Lovato has always been an open book when it comes to her personal struggles.
She’s talked at length about her eating disorder, her mental health battles and, of course, her hardcore drug use.
In her new docuseries Demi Lovato: Dancing with the Devil, however, the singer reveals for the first time that she was sexually assaulted by her drug dealer the night of her overdose.
“I didn’t just overdose. I was taken advantage of,” the 28-year-old says in the film, which premiered Tuesday at the SXSW Film Festival.
She’s talking here, of course, about the July 2018 night during which she has said she almost died.
A friend of Lovato’s, Sirah Mitchell, says in this same movie that Lovato had been given heroin “laced with fentanyl” that evening.
“He also ended up getting her really high and leaving her for dead,” Mitchell says about the dealer in the documentary.
Lovato does into tragic detail like never before in this footage.
“When they found me, I was naked, blue. I was literally left for dead after he took advantage of me,” she says.
“When I woke up in the hospital, they asked if we had had consensual sex. There was one flash that I had of him on top of me. I saw that flash and I said yes.
“It wasn’t until a month after the overdose that I realized, ‘You weren’t in any state of mind to make a consensual decision.'”
This wasn’t the only time Lovato was the victim of an alleged sexual assault, either.
In the series, the artist grows understandably emotional when she recounts dealing with the trauma that she faced from this rape — and also a previous one.
“When I was a teenager, I was in a very similar situation. I lost my virginity in a rape,” she says in the film.
While acknowledging that she and her alleged attacker back then had been “hooking up,” Lovato says she had made clear she hadn’t been “ready” to lose her virginity.
“I was part of that Disney crowd that publicly said they were waiting until marriage. I didn’t have the romantic first time,” Lovato explains.
“That was not it for me — that sucked. Then I had to see this person all the time so I stopped eating and coped in other ways.”
Lovato never names the perpetrator here.
But she does strongly imply that the alleged rapist was an actor of some kind.
“They never got taken out of the movie they were in. I always kept it quiet because I’ve always had something to say. I don’t know, I’m tired of opening my mouth.
“Here’s the tea,” she says in the documentary.
Following her pair of sexual assault experiences, Lovato attempted to “take control” by getting in contact with her abusers to do it “her way.”
“I called that person back a month later and tried to make it right by being in control.
“All it did was make me feel worse,” she says in an extremely disturbing admission, adding:
“Both times were textbook trauma re-enactments, and I really beat myself up for years which is why I had a really hard time coming to terms with the fact it was a rape when it happened.”
At other points in the film, Lovato says she once used heroin and crack cocaine.
She says she even shot up after her overdose, prior to finally asking for help.
That said, Lovato confesses that stilll still drinks and still smokes weed these days — in moderation.
“I’ve learned that shutting the doors on things makes me want to open the door even more. I’ve learned that it doesn’t work for me to say, ‘I’m never going to do this again,'” she says.
“I’ve really, really struggled with this. I’m done with the stuff I know is going to kill me, right?
“But I wish that I could get some relief maybe through, like, weed or something, and telling myself that I can never have a drink or smoke marijuana…
“I feel like that’s setting myself up for failure because I am such a black and white thinker.”
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