Edward Norton Calls Trump A '10-Ply-Super-Soft Bitch' In AMAZING Viral Twitter Rant
We may be super tired of Donald Trump, but we’ll never get tired of Trump takedowns this good!
Early Friday morning, Edward Norton shared his own amateur analysis of the President’s ridiculous refusal to concede his loss in the election to Twitter. And while the actor admitted he’s “no political pundit,” we happen to think he made some VERY good points.
In a lengthy thread, he wrote:
“I’m no political pundit but I grew up w a dad who was a federal prosecutor & he taught me a lot & I’ve also sat a fair amount of poker w serious players & l’ll say this: I do not think Trump is trying to ‘make his base happy’ or ‘laying the groundwork for his own network’ or that ‘chaos is what he loves’. The core of it is that he knows he’s in deep, multi-dimensional legal jeopardy & this defines his every action.”
Interesting. So he’s of the mind Trump is just trying to stay out of prison — and he lays it out pretty convincingly:
“We’re seeing 1) a tactical delay of the transition to buy time for coverup & evidence suppression 2) above all, a desperate endgame which is to create enough chaos & anxiety about peaceful transfer of power, & fear of irreparable damage to the system, that he can cut a Nixon-style deal in exchange for finally conceding.”
In case you weren’t up to speed on the history he’s referencing, Richard Nixon resigned the presidency, making his VP Gerald Ford president — and Ford then gave Nixon a full and unconditional pardon for any crimes he committed. Many think Trump is looking for the exact same thing, considering he’s already been fingered for obstruction of justice in the Mueller report (no matter how many times he falsely claims it exonerated him) AND he’s an unindicted co-conspirator in the election fraud case that sent his lawyer Michael Cohen to prison.
However, Norton doesn’t think Trump has the leverage — or as he puts it, the POTUS “doesn’t have the cards.”
“His bluff after ‘the flop’ has been called in court… His ‘turn card’ bluff will be an escalation & his ‘River card’ bluff could be really ugly. But they have to be called. We cannot let this mobster bully the USA into a deal to save his ass by threatening our democracy. THAT is his play. But he’s got junk in his hand. So call him.”
Yeah, this reasoning makes a lot of sense to us, as scary as it is.
But the Rounders star didn’t stop there — he went on to drop one of the most scathing descriptions of Trump to date. He said:
“I will allow that he’s also a whiny, sulky, petulant, Grinchy, vindictive little 10-ply-super-soft bitch who no doubt is just throwing a wicked pout fest & trying to give a tiny-hand middle finger to the whole country for pure spite, without a single thought for the dead & dying”
Still sounding pretty accurate, though!
The Fight Club star concluded:
“But his contemptible, treasonous, seditious assault on the stability of our political compact isn’t about 2024, personal enrichment or anything else other than trying to use chaos & threat to the foundation of the system as leverage to trade for a safe exit. Call. His. Bluff.”
“Faith in the strength of our sacred institutions & founding principles is severely stretched…but they will hold. They will. He’s leaving, gracelessly & in infamy. But if we trade for it, give him some brokered settlement, we’ll be vulnerable to his return. We can’t flinch.”
And to think, he just gave us a masterclass like that right on social media, for free!
Obviously we’re inclined to agree with Norton’s points, but we hope the government entities tasked with holding the president accountable will keep this in mind, too. If you ask us, we shouldn’t stop until the whole Trump family is serving well-deserved time.
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