Lady Gaga says she used to ‘get depressed’ every day when she woke up and remembered how famous she is

  • Lady Gaga discussed her experience with depression in an interview with Billboard.
  • After her 2018 "Joanne" world tour, "I used to wake up every day and remember I was Lady Gaga — and then I would get depressed," she said.
  • She revealed that she was afraid to leave the house, and used to pull the "Lady Gaga card" when friends would try to console her.
  • "It's the one where you go, 'I'm Lady Gaga, you don't understand what it feels like, I want to dress how I want and be who I am without people noticing, why does everybody have to notice, I'm so sad, I don't even know why anymore, why are you making me talk about it?'"
  • However, the 34-year-old pop star credited therapy with helping her break that cycle, as well as the creative process behind her newest album "Chromatica."
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Lady Gaga says there was a time in her life when her own identity triggered her depression.

"I used to wake up every day and remember I was Lady Gaga — and then I would get depressed," she recently told Billboard.

The 34-year-old pop star has discussed her experiences with post-traumatic stress disorder, self-harm, and anxiety in the past. Indeed, she has described her newest album "Chromatica" as a journey through pain towards healing.

But in her new Billboard cover story, she was blunt about the intersections of her fame and mental illness.

After her "Joanne" world tour ended in 2018, Gaga said she became afraid to leave the house, spent hours chain-smoking, and began drinking heavily.

"My existence in and of itself was a threat to me," she said. "I thought about really dark s— every single day."

She even said she used to pull the "Lady Gaga card" when friends would try to console her.

"It's the one where you go, 'I'm Lady Gaga, you don't understand what it feels like, I want to dress how I want and be who I am without people noticing, why does everybody have to notice, I'm so sad, I don't even know why anymore, why are you making me talk about it?'"

However, the 11-time Grammy winner credited therapy with helping her break that cycle, as well as the collaborative creative process behind "Chromatica."

The producer BloodPop, born Michael Tucker, coaxed Gaga to pour her emotions into her songwriting. He told Billboard they would begin most recording sessions by spending a few hours talking about her feelings — which resulted in some of her most personal lyricism to date, with songs like "911" and "1000 Doves."

"What a privilege!" Gaga told the magazine. "To be an artist for the world in 2020. What a year for a heart that bleeds."

Read her full cover story for Billboard's 2021 Grammy Preview issue here.

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