One Direction: Liam Payne details struggles with ‘suicidal thoughts’ during band’s fame

BAFTAs: Liam Payne performance opens awards ceremony

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Liam has been quite vocal about his experiences while he was in One Direction over the years. The 27-year-old singer recently opened up about how things got bad for him during lockdown after he started indulging “bad habits”. This, he said, was something he had dealt with before in the past during his time in the band.

Speaking on The Diary of a CEO podcast, Liam explained how he suffered from mental health issues and addiction at the height of the band’s fame.

He explained: “In the band… the best way to secure us, because of how big we’d got, was just to lock us in our rooms.

“What’s in the room? A mini-bar. So at a certain point I thought: ‘I’m just going to have a party-for-one,’ and that seemed to carry on for many years of my life.”

He went on to add: “It was wild but it was the only way you could get frustration out.”

During this time, Liam revealed, his mental health got extremely bad.

When he was asked if he had ever had “moments of suicidal ideation,” he admitted: “Yeah.

“There is some stuff that I’ve definitely never spoken about to do with it. It was really, really, really severe. It was a problem.”

The Strip That Down singer eventually decided to turn his life around after seeing some photos of himself in the press.

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Liam said: “There were a few pictures of me on a boat and I was all bloated out and I call it my pills-and-booze face.”

He added that his face was “ten-times bigger” than it is now, because of his addiction issues.

Later in the interview, he revealed how he had split up with his fiancée Maya Henry.

The pair had been together since 2019, but confessed he is “not very good as relationships”.

Despite the trouble he went through recently, Liam has spoken out about how his friends have helped him along the way.

In recent weeks he revealed he had a “good catch up” with former 1D star Harry Styles.

Speaking to his fans in a live stream, Liam said: “Yeah, I did speak to Harry, and it was really lovely.

“He called me because he has a sixth sense for if I’m struggling or if one of us is in trouble, I feel like.”

Liam went on: “I’ve got a lot of love for the man. He’s great, he’s really, really great. It’s hard in this position sometimes, you’re watching people’s stories from afar that you used to know so well.

“That can be difficult when you feel like a piece of you is missing with them at that point, I guess. And I think we’ve all felt this at different times, me and the boys.

“It’s almost like missing a very dear friend a lot of the time. Everyone’s so busy and you have to be understanding of that.”


For confidential support call the Samaritans in the UK on 116 123 or visit a local Samaritans branch.

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