'The Office': A Definitive Ranking Of Every Michael Scott Character
Premiering back in 2005, The Office remains one of the best television shows of all time. The documentary-style show is truly comedic gold. Part of what makes the show so great is Michael Scott (played by Steve Carrell) and all of the crazy characters he portrays. Let’s have a look at all his characters, and see how they stack up against one another.
There’s really not much to say about Ping. We only seem him for a flash in “The Dundies”. In fact, Jim and Pam talk over most of Ping’s lines. Of course, that doesn’t stop him from managing to offend several Asain people at the local Chilli’s with his highly racist “accent” and ridiculously awful buck teeth and costume glasses.
6. Blind Guy McSqueezy
Hailing from “The Lover” is Blind Guy McSqueezy. Michael introduces him when Jim and Pam return from their honeymoon. McSqueezy approaches the couple, donning a pair of black sunglasses, and “mistakenly” confuses them for one another. McSqueezy takes great pleasure in stroking Jim’s chest and pretending that they are Pam’s breasts.
In Michael’s own words, Blind Guy McSqueezy is a character “whose lack of vision gets him into all sorts of trouble. The women in my improv class absolutely hate him.”
No longer just a city in Greece, Mykonos charged into action for a few scenes in “The Seminar.” Sporting a horrendously gruff “Greek accent” (which as Holly pointed out was actually more Italian sounding) he is used to help Andy attempt to win over some investors.
Mykonos earns our respect because he bonds Michael and Holly by allowing them to reconnect over their mutual interests and shared weirdness. Mykonos is loosely based on another Michael Scott character, Spiros who is “more about the ladies.” Sadly, we never get to see Spiros in action, but he definitely earns an honorable mention.
4. Michael Klump
“I say, I say, I say, I’ll sit on you!” Who could ever forget the hilarity and complexity that is Michael Klump? Mentioned in a few episodes, but most known for popping up in “Weight Loss”, Klump has an on again, off again relationship with body positivity.
Originally he ridicules fat people, telling them that if they are obese, they will die. But, Klump later has a change of heart and reminds everyone that he, like everyone else, is beautiful no matter what their size.
3. Date Mike
Why have regular Mike when you can have Date Mike? Popping up in “Happy Hour”, Date Mike is every woman’s nightmare. Using phrases like “Hi, I’m Date Mike. Nice to meet me. How do you like your eggs in the morning?”, watching Date Mike is like watching a car crash and burn and loving every second of it.
Date Mike always comes dress to kill any possibility of romance. Sporting what appears to be a backwards beanie, an unbuttoned top, and a popped collar, Date Mike lives life on the edge. A true rule breaker, Date Mike dances on tables, is constantly on the prowl, and almost gets kicked out of bars.
2. Prison Mike
He stole and he robbed and he kidnapped the President’s son and held him for ransom. And he never got caught neither! Between dementors, eating his own hair, and gruel, Prison Mike really has seen it all. With his purple bandanna and a terrible Bostonian/Jersey accent, it’s clear that time spent in “the clank” really has hardened this troubled soul. Prison Mike is an incredible character because he provides us with an amazing perspective. Because, at the end of the day, at least we’re not somebody’s bi*ch.
1. Detective Michael Scarn
A man who needs no introductions. A hero, a legend, a special agent, a dance master, a choreographic innovator, and Catherine Zeta’s Jones’ husband. Detective Michael Scarn spans many seasons and is the gift that keeps giving. The single greatest Michael Scott character of the series, Detective Scarn comes with his own feature film and episode, “Threat Level Midnight”. But, what is undoubtedly Michael Scarn’s greatest gift to us is teaching us how to do “The Scarn”, a dance that will last for generations.
No matter what character is your favorite, nothing beats the pure genius of Michael Scott. We have The Office writers and Carrell’s amazing talents to thank for providing us with endless laughs over the last 14 years.
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